Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Empty planner page

Hearing bad news always makes you evaluate your life.
Or, sometimes, hearing other people hear bad news.
It's like you recognize all your mistakes, all the things you want to do, all the people you love, the ones you don't appreciate enough, and where you are lacking in your life, all the the same time.

Today, I have done a lot of evaluating.

I'm not so sure.

All I know is I have an opportunity in my life right now that I don't normally have.


For once I don't have school and work and social events and everything else that fills the pages of my torn up planner.

There are so many things I could do with this time, and as of yet, I have no plan.
I have so many things I want to do in my life, I just don't know when I'm going to do any of them.
Or if one of them should fill this empty space in time I have right now.

i want to travel. to Greece. to Africa. to Australia. i want to go on mission trips. i want to get married. i want to intern at a non-profit. i want to write a book. i want to drive across the country. i want to run a marathon. i want to read my bible every day, consistently. i want to have my own house. i want to finish my education. i want to have children. i want to live in the country. and in the city. i want to get a dog. i want to read all of the Harry Potter books again. i want to go backpacking somewhere crazy. i want to enter a sand castle-building contest.
i want to live and life i am proud of.

In my day of deep thinking, I spend some time looking at entries to the Post Secret book.
If you have never heard of it, you should look it up.
And the bluntness, honesty, my ability to relate, and vulnerability of them pull me in.

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